Wendy Hill, Supporter of pregnant women

Wendy Hill is a counsellor, social worker and advocate. She�s also manager of Greenstone Doors in the Hutt Valley, which offers a safe and welcoming place for pregnant women and families.

�We�re here to make pregnancy possible,� Wendy says, �so that pregnancy is a path people can take.�

Women who approach Greenstone Doors for a pregnancy test and conversation are often just in need of a safe place for conversation. Barriers to continuing with a pregnancy often include being able to access government and community support, and overcoming reactions from others.

�The biggest barrier is people�s judgements � that they are pregnant again, or that they�re pregnant young or pregnant old. Just the judgements from society, that when you have a pregnancy it�s considered wrong, that you�ve somehow made a mistake.

�They don�t get that type of response here. They are welcomed in and everything possible is done to help keep the baby. We can�t make all the problems go away, but we can least support them.�

Wendy says sometimes pregnant women are afraid to tell people close to them that they are pregnant. Sometimes they are in bad relationships or living in difficult situations like a house full of alcohol.

�People need a sense of safety when they are pregnant. They are very vulnerable, but it is safe here. We�ve got a nurturing environment where there�s hospitality. But most of all they can build a trusted relationship with someone who does genuinely care, which they might not have on the outside.�

Sometimes women are vulnerable in pregnancy because of a previous loss, whether due to stillbirth, abortion or miscarriage. That can lead to great anxiety about a subsequent pregnancy, with many dealing with grief and feelings of unworthness.

�For any type of healing, there has to be a trusted relationship somewhere with someone. Pregnancy is such a tapu time for women, it�s such a sacred time. When you�re with a woman to do a pregnancy test, it�s not just the test, it�s everything that�s come before that.

�So journeying through a pregnancy that�s worrying for different reasons, it�s important that they don�t journey alone. We walk alongside, that�s what we�re asked to do as Christians, walk alongside people.�

Unfortunately, Churches are one of the places where pregnant women can experience judgement. �The Church really needs to get our language right, to bring the gentleness of compassion to how we approach this.�

Wendy says sometimes it�s tempting to want to �fix� a person�s life, to whip a pregnant woman off to the doctor to get checked out or to deal with other aspects of their life. But often that�s not what they want.

�They just want someone to sit with them in that moment, just to be with them. It�s as simple as that, just to be with them.The gift of time is so precious, to be just able to sit with people. Time which we often don�t have, do we?

�If we are able to slow down a person, just sitting here, if we can slow down a pregnancy in that way, then it becomes meaningful to them. It isn�t something that�s just disposable and can be gone in a moment. The gift of time is very precious.�

Wendy brings a lot of life experience as well as professional skills to her work for Greenstone Doors, which she knows is work God intended her to do.

�I�ve been a single parent. I lost my partner when I was pregnant. I�ve had the looks of judgement of having a lot of kids, of people saying, �Ooh, what does your husband do, he must have a good job� and having to say, �I�m alone�. I know the walks that people have.�

Wendy says she�s learned the importance of conversations and relationships, and believes we have a duty of care towards each other.

�As Christians, that is our responsibility to see what we can do to make things right. I like to think I�m there for people. If somebody needs a listening ear, I�m here.�